A Recipe for Anything... But Success
“Trust will be built in a multitude of moments, over time, when words and actions align and people feel heard and cared for.”
I remember standing in my grandmother’s kitchen as a child watching her whip up the most phenomenal dishes for Thanksgiving. She never referenced a cookbook, she just knew how much, how long, and what extra touch would make it just perfect. I unfortunately did not inherit that magic. I like a good recipe, in fact, I need a recipe. But when I am given the recipe and the cooking instructions, then watch me go!
Building trust in our organizations and with other people is similar to my experience with my grandma. While it seems some people just intuitively know the secret ingredients, others of us need a recipe to follow. If you are one of those folks, then here we go.
The dish we are serving up today is TRUST. As we get started, it is important to remember that humans are at the center of leadership - not business models, tech systems, or strategic plans. As leaders, we need other people to want to work alongside us, to embrace our mission, and to be part of the change we want to see. This does not happen without effort, consistency, and follow through from leaders. This collective and sustainable teamwork starts and ends with trust. And whether we like it or not, there are many ways to build trust and, unfortunately, even more ways to break it.
Let’s take a look at three ingredients that when included in your recipe will undoubtedly take your perfect recipe for building trust from delicious to the things kitchen nightmares are made of. False hope, blind faith, and broken promises…these three terrible ingredients do more than reduce morale and cause turnover…they thwart progress, create toxic work environments, and obliterate your bottom line.
False Hope
I recently read a Harvard Business article that summed it up best: “Overall, if organizations can help employees to embrace both the “highs” and the “lows” of hoping — and drive more realistic narratives about the nature of hope — they might better stay the course in successfully tackling their thorniest problems.” I believe deeply in radical hope and that means having hope even against all odds. This is an important personal quality and allows me to inspire those around me toward a collective vision.
However, if there is one thing I have learned, it is that “hope” has to be coupled with a transparent, current understanding of what we are up against and it must be tied to a pathway that feels possible with hard work and commitment. Finally, when we realize our current reality is not working and bold change is needed, it is inevitable that ups and downs, roadblocks, and setbacks will be part of the path to get there. People have to be reminded that challenges are all part of the process. Otherwise, when the going gets tough, hopefulness will quickly fade and hopelessness will take over! Honesty, vision, and shared values, coupled with a commitment to realness and transparency throughout the process…that creates radical hope that we can believe in and work toward.
Blind Faith
Expecting “blind faith” is another bad ingredient you will want to steer clear of in your recipe for building trust with your team. Consider the last time you blindly followed someone…how’d that work out for you? For me, a really nice sales guy who said all the right things got this typically intelligent, critically thinking woman to buy a car on the spot! I then spent the next couple of years paying for that little bit of blind faith…and that was just a one-time car sale!
When people’s livelihoods are involved and it is connected to their professional aspirations and personal values, they aren’t going to mess around, nor should they. As a leader, if you are asking them to believe in you and your vision, you will need to show them far more proof than what they can get from words alone. They want to see a track record, times where you have set a goal and accomplished it. Take time to point them toward other similar situations in the past and remind them of what worked.
Broken Promises
Nothing eats away at your integrity faster. For evidence of this, just promise a young child a “special treat” and then don’t deliver on it…I know from my own children that their responses to that situation would range from frustration to tears to total dejection! Pro tip: Adults are no different! We (usually) at least understand a bit better than kids that things outside of our control can happen from time to time. However, one too many of these missteps and trust fades quickly, to almost never return (at least not without a heck of a lot of hard work).
This idea should not be new to any of us: members of our organization need to trust those who are making decisions, guiding strategy, and navigating the team through tough times. And that has to come through our commitments and our follow through on them. My son will occasionally say, “Mom, can we get ice cream tonight?” And me, being the cool, loving mom that I am…I want to be quick to say, “Of course!” or “Absolutely!” without thinking through the multitude of other commitments we have or that I have an evening work call! My wife (the realist) reminds me frequently to be honest in my answer…don’t over-promise, and make sure I can follow through on my words with corresponding action. The results with my son and for you as the leader…kept promises…real belief in you…TRUST.
The real-deal recipe
After talking about these unwanted ingredients, you might be asking, “Which one of these issues has the greatest impact on trust?”
The answer…trust is complicated! Within an organization, “trust” happens between individuals, between employees and their managers and at an organizational level where we as individual leaders have limited control over other senior executives or other parts of the organization outside the scope of our own role. In addition, based on an individual’s personal story, trauma history, and prior organizational experiences, trust is not built in a moment. Trust will be built in a multitude of moments, over time, when words and actions align and people feel heard and cared for.
Recipe for Trust:
Inspired hope, coupled with a transparent dose of realism;
Faith built over time and upon a consistent track record;
Promises kept and delivered on.
It is important to remember that just like your favorite thanksgiving recipe, if you forget one of these ingredients or poorly measure the amount needed to create “trust”, then as for your favorite dish…well, let’s just say you might be disappointed in the results, or worse yet, you may need to restart the cooking process!
Happy Thanksgiving!